Essay on Outline of Marriage in the Victorian Era - 895 Words

Outline of Marriage in the Victorian Era In the Victorian era, marriage was not as romanticized or fairytale-like as depicted in many novels of the time. On the contrary, love actually played a very minor role in the majority of matrimonies that took place. An engagement was entered into as one would approach a business deal, and there were some generally accepted rules and guidelines to follow. The Rules * It was illegal to marry your deceased wife’s sister. You could marry first cousins, but attitudes changed towards the end of the 19th century, and this became frowned upon. * Victorians were encouraged to marry within the same class (remember the views on social mobility!). They could marry up, but to marry down meant†¦show more content†¦They can be compared to today’s prenuptial agreements. A woman’s father was responsible for retaining a â€Å"jointure† for his daughter; this was a provision in the event that she might outlive her husband, so that she was taken care of monetarily. * After the business aspects were secured, the engagement followed. The husband presented his fiancà ©e with a ring; the woman could give her fiancà © a ring as well, but it was not required. The woman’s mother was responsible for throwing an engagement dinner for the couple. * Engagements lasted anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. After it was â€Å"of ficial,† the couple was permitted to be more intimate: they could hold hands in public, take walks together, take private carriage rides (but the carriage had to be open), and even spend time alone behind closed doors, as long as they were properly separated by nightfall. * Any failure to follow these rules of conduct meant a ruined reputation for the woman; the engagement would most likely be called off and she would spend the rest of her life as a spinster. An honorable man would typically marry her anyway, but then again, an honorable man would not become engaged to a woman who would disobey societal rules. An example of a Victorian Wedding Certificate. Wedding Etiquette * After the wedding, it was customary to send cards indicating when the couple was to be â€Å"called upon† by their friends and family. 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